sometimes

I hate having feelings.

it's not what you look at,

it's what you see.

It's better if you don't understand...CLICK.

What am I doing? What am I doing? Oh yah, that's right. I'm doing Me!

Go ahead.
Do what you gotta do. I'm kinda done with it all actually.
I feel pretty stupid about sticking around for it, but oh well.
Its a shame tho, and I hope you don't hurt TOO much in the end.
Cause it will you know? End? Are you ready for it?
I know I'm not. Cause I'll wanna scream I TOLD YOU SO.
but I never really did tell you now did I?
Hmm, my bad I guess. Oh well,
:O I HAVE AN IDEA.
You do you, and I'll do me.
Cool? and if we by chance see each other or hangout, let's at least be courteous and remember what we at least HAD to fall back on.
But other than that, we clearly don't have time for each other anymore.
So..we should probably stop pretending? Ya?
Yup.

iTunes playcount, 122♥

Lord, please just know that I'd do ANYTHING....

I'm ready now, 

do what you will.

If you sit by yourself talking to the moon, c.l.i.c.k.

For a long time,

she tossed and turned,

unable to sleep,

wondering if maybe, just maybe,

he was awake and thinking of her too.

Everybody has a breaking point.

my.love.has.a.limit.

The first thing I thought of when I saw this pic was how I wish I could jump on that bike
turn around and just ride off in the opposite direction. Just keep riding...

From when it's all good, to when it's all bad.

"stuck to your side like glue

be by your side, whatever you're going through."

..where are you?

“I find the map and draw a straight line

over rivers, farms, and state lines.

The distance from ‘A’ to where you’d ‘B’

It’s only finger lengths that I see.

I touch the place where I’d find your face,

My fingers in creases of distant dark places”

I feel to much. That’s what’s going on. Do you think one can feel too much? Or just feel in the wrong ways? My insides don’t match up with my outsides. Do anyone’s insides and outsides match up? I don’t know. I’m only me. Maybe that’s what a person’s personality is: the difference between the inside and outside.

AMEN. Story of my liiiife.

Sometimes

you wake up.

Sometimes

the fall kills you.

And sometimes,

when you fall, you fly.

How I wish.

love.takes.hostages

Swift as a wind song, 
you sang the music of an honest bird.
I waited for some contradiction, but truth was ringing in your every word.
And every moment since then the one thing I can tell,
is that I belong with you and no one else.

Lay down those heavy burdens,
on the banks of this river deep.
Know that every piece of your past, 
is always some place safe with me.
And there's no room for judgement, I want you as yourself.
Because I belong with you and no one else

We have both been broken and bent into painful shapes.

We almost let those old fears carry over and get in the way.
But every struggle just makes our love grow stronger than it was yesterday.

So here we are now.
Ain't it lucky we survived it all?
Searching for self in seperate rivers,
only to end up in the same waterfall.
And when we're gray and wiser 
the story I will tell is that I belong with you, 
and no one else, 

SO, HERES WHAT HAPPENED TONIGHT.

So, today must of been THEE best vesper's ever. It was in the lobby! It was soo warmed and filled with the spirit that not even I knew what to do.

So after that, the boys, well SETH demanded that I watch "braveheart" with him and the boys (Thomas&Sean).

And I knew me, I wasn't gonna enjoy it,...because secretly I had seen it before..but they didn't know that;) but i was like whatever fine. I got halfway down the hall, and realized that I actually DIDN'T wanna watch it. So I tried to escape. Got away the first time, but seth found me and started pushing me back down the hall. Finally we got to their room, and they locked me inside. Thank GOD ciro&Jelani came to my rescue, so ciro distracted them so I could run out. Got to the lobby and hid behind some chairs. It was going good, until thomas came walking around the corner, I think I was sooo low on the ground that he actually didn't see me!!! So he walked by, while I tried not to laugh and my eyes never moved from him. I watched as he started asking people where I was, than....he saw me. I have NEVER screamed that loud in my life, I got up and ran for outside, well downstairs. Made it down the stairs but seth was right behind me anyways. So i gave up and screamed my loudest again. They carried me ALL the way back up the stairs, and nearly dropped me once. THOMAS however was dying. He couldn't take my screaming! HE WAS HOWLING. So I kept doin it;) and afterawhile he dropped me. Than CIRO AND JELANI came to my rescue again and I almost escaped till thomas and sean held them down tight while seth pulled me down the hall,through the lobby (all the while I am screaming my head off) DRAGGING me on the floor. The screaming just didn't work with him. So he got me in the room, thomas and sean came running and they locked the door. THIS is where shit hit the fan. They put me on a CHAIR and tied me to the chair! I screamed, I bit, I stabbed, EVERYTHING I could, while JESSE sat there and did NOTHING to save meeee:'( he was actually getting mad however that we were sooo loud! So, I don't remember how, but CIRO, JELANI, LUKE, and O.D busted into the room and they ALL started fighting trying to get me out of the chair! CIRO, got to the chair and started undoing the strap while SETH was trying to pull me AND the chair into the BATHROOM! YO, i LATCHED my legs to the opening of that door SO hard, yo i wasnt giviing up...but I didn't notice that I had knocked over jesse's stuff with my foot:( So Ciro, undid the LAST strap and I BOLTED for the door! But, THOMAS was on the outside holding it from me getting out! I was like--shit. And in DUE time, I felt the bodies grab me again. Me and ciro faught as hard as we could! THEN OD BETRAYED ME! Evil pirate hooker! SO, we all start going at it agian, but LUKE holds em ALL off:) Ciro yanks the door open, THOMAS rushes in, ciro takes him...and I escape once more! this time I tried hiding behind the staircase..you know what happened then. They found me...I screamed. BUT i had seen nancy, and I knew they wouldn't pull me if...oh I dont know...I was ATTACHED to her! MUAHAHA cause she would shit balls! So i did, and they didn't. So then I agreed to watch the movie with them. So ciro, pulled me aside and he said just run for my room. So we started making our way to the hallway, thomas being right behind us, but JELANI was waiting...as soon as we walked through one door, JELANI SLAMMED IT, and held it down while me and ciro made our getaway. We get to the entrance of his room, and he starts FUMBLING WITH HIS KEY! MEANWHILE, the door at the end of the hall BUSTS OPEN! HERE COMES TOMMY. RUNNING DOWN THE HALL LIKE A BANSHE. BETWEEN LAUGHING, WITH ONE BREATH I WAS LIKE CIROOO (PUSHING HIS ARM FASTER ALTHO PREVENTING HIM FROM OPENING THE DOOR) CIRO STARTED HOWLING CAUSE EVERYTIME HE WAS CLOSE TO GETTING THE CARD IN, I WOULD JAB HIM AND HE'D MISS! THOMAS WAS GETTING CLOSER AT THIS POINT, I YELLED TRYING TO GET A BREATH OUT, CIROOO HURRY!!! PUSHING HIS ARM EVEN HARDER, HIM MISSING EVERYTIME ONCE AGAIN, HIM LAUGHING EVEN HARDER AT THIS POINT. AND AT THIS POINT TOM WAS TWO STEPS AWAY FROM ME, SO I DID THE ONE THING ANYONE WOULD DO WHILE WATCHING THE YOUR CAPTOR APPROACH APPEAR BEFORE YOU.....I SCREAMED THE HARDEST, AND LOUDEST. THE GUYS FACE WAS SOOO RED!! HE NEARLY PEE'D HIMSELF! TACKLED ME AND WE BOTH WENT FLYING!

But, I surrendered cause I told him I would.

MEANWHILE, Down by seths door, I heard him yelling at someone. Wasn't sure who, but I found out it was jesse. So i approached and jesse wouldn't let us in cause HE.WAS.PISSED. So we tried to apologize and get in. So apparently seth made his way to the fuse box and turned off the power to their room where jesse was playing video games. I didn't even know that even controlled it! All i saw was seth playing with it. Then jesse screamed, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FCKING KIDDING ME! Than jelana intervened and through the door and said, you know two ppl pay for this room. Then jesse told him to go fck his own ass.

...well, you know jelana. He DEMANDED that jesse say that to his face. ORDERED seth to open the door, and he did (idiot) jelana pushed his way in and was in jesse's face. I got between them and stopped it. Jesse was pissed because of what happened to his stuff. In alllll the commotion, all his shit got knocked over, and he was pissed about it. I felt for him. BEcause I would be pissed so I started to help clean up his room..but jesse was still mad. So he left. I went after him, cause Y'all know me, Mr.Empathy. I found him and apologized and we were all good. He wasn't happy with the boys however. So i left him and went to find my shoes. So when I found them I went back to their room and they were ALL including JESSE watching the movie. I guess they had all settled things while I was gone...thank God. So we watched..well, I texted the whole time. Then at the end, I told seth and everyone I had already seen it. I expected them to be pissed, but I think we were all TOO tired to care. So after the movie a couple ppl left and I stayed behind to chill with seth. After I left ciro wanted to talk to me about something. After he was done he insisted on RUBBING his hair in my face so i tried to push him off defending myself. We were howwwling! I didn't notice, but as i was pushing him backwards, my foot was caught to his pantleg, and he went falling backwards! I MEAN FEET ROSE OFF THE FLOOR AND HE WENT TUMBLING. I LAUGHED SO HARD, GRABBED MY SHIT AND RAN TO MY ROOM LAUGHING, and I could hear him behind me! So i got to tom's room cause I knew I wouldn't make it to mine, and we slammed the door! Oh man, I heard him go to my room and they locked the door.

So I sent thomas, (meanwhile jelani, n seth showed up) jelana and seth see if ciros in my room! So I waited at the edge of the door, they entered my room with my key, I heard talking...and THEN, THOMAS, SETH, AND JELANA COME FLYING OUT HOLDING THEIR MOUTHS! I WAS LIKE WHAT HAPPENED!? No one would tell me! So i sat there and waiting till they were done DYING. Finally, thomas said, I'm pretty sure I just walked in on sean.... he didn't need to finish. My jaw DROPPED, and they ALL STARTED UP AGAIN. I was the ONLY ONE SPEECHLESS. Then they all started cracks at me. Sean came over, and we all died. So we didn't tell him, cause how do you ask that!? Then we went back to my room, and I found ciro in my room, altho everyone LIED and told me he wasn't there. But I could see through sean. He's not that good of a liar. So, they all left my room, we went down to seths. Chilled, cleared up the.....story and we ALL went to bed.

Honestly, THEE BEST NIGHT of my LIFE here at CUC.

LOVE these boys:)

To that special girl out there. P.s you've officially turned me OFF.

...and now your everybody's fool.

I FELT SPECIAL

until I saw you talk to everyone like that.

Even if it's a lie, say it will be alright...and I shall believe.

In life we do things. Some we wish we had never done. Some we wish we could replay a million times in our heads. But they all make us who we are. And in the end they s h a p e every detail about us. If we were to reverse any of them we wouldn't be the person we are. So just live. Make mistakes, have wonderful memories. But never ever second guess who you are, where you have been, and most importantly where it is you're going.

But who knows...

..maybe one day we'll be perfect for each other.

We put on so many masks everyday,

that we no longer know 

which one's real.

"Everybody thinks of changing the world, but nobody thinks of changing themselves."

dreams 

are illusions 

from the book 

that your soul 

is writing about you.

All I want, 
is a little more than I will get.

You're Amazing-Hedley♥